i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize