i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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