To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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