When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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