all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
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Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
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I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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