Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
