Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
