He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Welp...herpes.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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