You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
