she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
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If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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