Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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