I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
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Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
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Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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