I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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