Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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