yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
