So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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