dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
