Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I need help removing her.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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