how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
