ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
where are my eyebrows?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
