As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
