where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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