You made me cry and you don't even care
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
