I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
