paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
