FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize