please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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