Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
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There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
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He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I am one with the molecules
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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