Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Terrible idea I love it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
