It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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