Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
