literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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