I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
