does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
