Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
