Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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