sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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