What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
