hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
