For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize