your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There r osticjed everywhere
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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