My first STD was from a foam party
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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