so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
