Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
