I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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