I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
