Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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