What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
