what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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