I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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