He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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