I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
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I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
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I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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