Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize