90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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