you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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