i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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