Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
