I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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