That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
